arin_rowan

(Employees at my store sometimes get to open packs of Magic cards for the store, usually when we're trying to find a specific card. We can only open them when our boss gives permission, which is never as often as most of us would like, because opening packs is actually kind of fun. My coworker gave the best analogy I've heard in ages for the situation.)

Coworker A: [Our boss] doesn't just let us open up packs indiscriminately for the store. Otherwise we might get pack diabetes!

(<3 <3 <3)

(Coworker B is currently trying to get our boss to fire her by never clocking in, or logging any hours that she works. Don't ask.)
Coworker B: "Okay, I'm gonna head out. Remember, I wasn't here."
Me: "So don't clock you in behind your back again."
Coworker B: "Right."
Coworker A: "Because you weren't ever actually here."
Coworker B: "Right!"
Me: "Because today's your day off."
Coworker B: "Exactly!"

(Leaves)

*beat*

Me: "Clock her in for two hours, or three?"
Coworker A: "Two, I think."
Me: "Cool. Coworker C, can you-"
Coworker C: "I was going to say four."
Me: "Let's go with three."

The staff:
1. The weird one who starts crying if anyone yells at her, gets anxiety attacks, rarely wears shoes, likes dancing while typing on the front computer and reminding her boss or coworkers food is good. Somehow has the best self-preservation instincts of the entire store.

2. The one who doesn't understand she is allowed to stop and eat during her eight hour/twelve hour shift, and who thinks following orders from her boss means she can ignore the ones she thinks are stupid. Mildly autistic with a growing hatred of Magic players.

3. Neurotic Jewish boy who resembles an incontinent puppy currently trying to get legally emancipated from neurotic Jewish parents. Currently has a six hundred dollar Magic card debt with the store.

4. Easy-going tattooed one who keeps showing up functionally high or stoned, who owner hired and currently has a crush on after realizing 1. is essentially an asexual lesbian.

5. Live-action Eeyore impersonator nearing fifty who is convinced everything is ultimately meaningless.

6. Cousin of owner who wants to leave to finish school and become a physics teacher but as she's store-manager and 1-5 aren't good replacements for varying reasons, her attempts to leave have thus far been unsuccessful. Addicted to Red Bull and is codenamed Rutabaga.

Owner: Bisexual man who keeps hiring people based on whether he wants to sleep with them and/or they are crazy in manageable ways instead of going through the interviewing process. Averages two hours of sleep a night, one meal a day, and goes back to his apartment once every other week. Somehow knows and is friends with an implausible number of young, attractive women in relationships with other people that show up around midnight-two in the morning and watch movies with him in the backroom. No, not 'watch movies'. Watch movies. No, seriously.

....can someone please tell me why no one's making a webcomic of my workplace?

Colonoscopy came back normal. This is good in that it means there's no sign I have colon cancer or Inflammable Bowel Syndrome. it's bad in that I still don't know why my Irritable Bowel Synddome has been flaring up so badly as of late. Follow-up appointment in two weeks where I'm getting some biopsy results and asking more questions.

My father is in town for the weekend. He took my sister and I to dinner tonight at a nice restaurant. Right before my lasagna arrived he blurted out that he and my mother were getting a divorce.

He hasn't lived at home for five years. He was at seminary, now he's looking for a job, and in the five years both he and my mother have grown as people while they grew apart. They weren't very close to begin with, admittedly.

I'm not angry at either of them, I'm sad. Something is ending and something is beginning and I hope this gives them the happiness they never had together. For my mother, I feel it already has.

Took my car in for a free brake check-up. I then learned that my front strut is broken, has been for a while, and as a result most of my front brake system needed to be replaced. The bill came to approximately two months rent.

On the bright side, the guys at the garage were very nice, actually showed me everything that was broken, explained what wasn't working about it and had me handle the busted pieces so I could see/feel what wasn't working properly. The bits that were leaky or already starting to rip presented a compelling argument.

On a lighter note, finally filed my taxes for my business for last year. Yes, 2010's taxes. As they were so late I had a 25% percent penalty fee, meaning the amount I owed wound up going up to $13.76. Yes, $13.76. I don't know what they were expecting, I only registered the business in October and had around eight sales, but honestly, if I get audited for that it will be hysterical.

So yeah. If anyone wants to buy jewelry from me, now would be a really really *really* awesome time for people to do it.

I lengthened the period my store would donate 30% to Japanese tsunami and earthquake relief from the end of March to the end of April. Final numbers: $223.31. Now, to figure out which charity...

y dice earrings are being sold at SakuraCon! Green Lake Games is giving me a 60/40 consignment on them, and it sounds like a number have already sold. I'm going to be donating 30% of what I make this month and March to Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami relief, so again, if anyone wants to request something or grab an item, sooner is better than later.

Also, this was the best reason to miss a sale I've had yet:

Girlfriend: *looking at D-4 and D-8 earrings*
Boyfriend: "You shouldn't get those. Get the D-10's."
G: "I like these ones. Why should I get those?"
B: "....I'd feel betrayed if you got dice that weren't supported by my gaming system."